My Testimony

Maybe it’s because I just learned that David Ring will be speaking at our church on Sunday, July 12 (ya’ll should come), or maybe it’s the Esther Bible study I am in right now, but for some reason I feel that I am suppose to share my testimony. I have never really shared my testimony and I am sure some of this will even be a surprise to my husband. I am not very good at being open and transparent, so I hope that by writing this blog, I will begin to feel more adequate at sharing what the Lord has done for me. So this is going to be a little long, thanks for indulging me.

My Testimony
I grew up in church, but to some extent, I think I grew physically more than spiritually. I remember sitting in the pew thinking, “What is this guy talking about? I just don’t get it!” I wanted to even felt that I needed to get it. I just didn’t understand how God “talked” to you or how you talked to God.
Like most people during my college years I fell away from even going to church. Then I met my future husband. I envied him because he seemed so sure, not filled with doubts as I was. He knew Scripture, and he seemed to have an assurance that I didn’t. He didn’t live with worry or second guess himself constantly like I did.
In the early part of our marriage we struggled to find a church home. Should we go to the Methodist church as I grew up in or the Baptist church as he was raised in? I struggled with the whole concept of having to be baptized by emersion to join the Baptist church. I felt like the church was saying what you did at 13 wasn’t real and doesn’t count because you were just sprinkled. I didn’t really understand that although I was sprinkled and made a profession of faith in the Methodist church, I wasn’t fully committed to the Lord or in a true relationship with Him.
Then we decided to go the church where Jeff grew up. The pastor there was so helpful in explaining the meaning behind being baptized by emersion without making me feel that I was turning my back on the decision I made at 13.
We continued visiting but didn’t join right away. I continued to struggle with doubts and second guessing myself. We were struggling with infertility and had been for several years. I remember lying in bed one night praying and crying out to God. I was so hurt that we couldn’t have a child. I wondered what I did wrong and why God was punishing me. I remember saying, “God, I feel like there’s a war going on inside me and the devil is going to win. Please don’t let him win.”
A few weeks later our church told us that David Ring was coming to speak at MTSU. Jeff and I attended with some of our friends. I was so touched by his message. I thought, “Wow, if he could come through all that he has and not be bitter, what am I so upset about? He doesn’t feel like God’s punishing him, so why should I?” When he gave the invitation, I felt the flood gates open. I knew right then and there that I wanted the assurance he and Jeff had. I was sobbing like a baby when I raised my hand to confirm that I had asked Jesus to be real in my life. At that moment I was sure. I finally got it! I knew what it means to be a child of the King!